Best Sex I Never Had

It was one of those of nights full of drinks and good times, somewhat of a blur in retrospect... but I remember him finagling his way into an invite upstairs. I was drunk and didn't find him attractive, but I liked to talk... and he let me run my mouth, so it was a win/win.

I'm not sure how potential sex started to happen, but I remember my inner voice yelling no! And not "no" in a rapey type of way... but more like, what in THEE entire fuck are you doing with an "lol" at the end. I was trying to find a non-bitchy way to tell him that I wasn't attracted to him and my vagina wasn't on board for any naked shenanigans.

I think our clothes ended up halfway on/off... but I was beyond dry. Like, a desert or insane cottonmouth from smoking a bunch of weed with no water in sight. It just wasn't going to happen. He was SOOOOOOOOOOO skinny. Like, skinnier than the skinniest person you can imagine. It makes me shiver in hindsight.... anyways, I remember saying something along the lines of "this isn't going to happen..." and just like that, it was over lol. He went home. I didn't have to count him as someone I had sex with. Praise God for the small things.

It's okay to pass on sex, and sometimes you have to be thankful for the ones you never had.... hell, the ones you didn't even check for or want in the least lol.

Happy Friday! Make some good decisions this weekend.


RELfreckles said...

This title is so deceiving! LOL but great read :)

Diana said...

Lol, that was too funny

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