That one time a stranger offered me $40 to eat me out...

When I look back on my life I sometimes recall "what the fuck" moments that make me cringe... like, did that really happen? Some of this shit is so epic and weird... I can't make it up.

For instance, about 5 years ago, back when K Dot and I were in our prime clubbing days we partied a little too hard and ended up falling alseep in the club. Like, for real asleep. Catching ZZzzzzZZZ's, counting sheep, having an intense stare down with the back of my eye lids. It was random, yet classic at the same time.

We were in Excalibur and managed to find some little room off in the cut with a bunch of sofas which of course was our signal to fall asleep. In hindsight, I'm wondering what made us so tired, why didn't we just go home... I have all these questions for my 24yo self. Anyways, we ended up falling asleep and when I awoke there was a guy propositioning me to receive oral sex!


From original blog post:

There's always a point in the night when you've reached your limit. I wasn't sloppy drunk but I was definitely in need of a place to sit down. We saw a room marked "World Wide Lounge" and figured that this would be the perfect place for us to rest our feet. Before I knew what happened we were both knocked out getting GREAT sleep. I've never fallen asleep in the club before but it was a Friday, we had worked all day, were wasted, and the room was full of big comfy couches. I'm not a deep sleeper so I easily awoke when I felt the weight of someone sitting next to me. I opened my eyes to be met with the frame of a tall African guy.
"Are you okay"
I had to adjust my eyes a bit and remember where I was. lol...
"Yeah, I'm fine" I said as I began to pull myself up off the couch. 
"Well, can I eat your pussy?" 
It was as if the record scratched and everything came to a halt. 
"Excuse me?" I replied, half astonished half disgusted. "Hell no...I need to leave." 
I turned to K Dot and proceeded to call her name and inform her that we needed to leave immediately... 
The guy must have not understood what "no" meant because he slipped me $40 and then asked if he could go down on me again!!! 
"FUCK NO!" was my response and I more urgently informed my girl that it was time to roll. 
The guy was on some next level desperation shit. I've never in my life heard of a man offering YOU money to go down on YOU!!!! Is this real! People actually think stuff like that works. I'll pass... 
As my girl got up we made our way out of the room and started heading for the stairs. 
"Can I at least get my money back"
I had been in such a rush to leave that I hadn't realized that I still had his cash. I gave him his money and kept it moving. I was beyond drunk and not in the mood for any bullshit antics.

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