I found love on Twitter

As a 30 year old woman, I’m currently experiencing my ngrossed in my first true experience with cohabitation that all began with a refreshing conversation via direct message on Twitter about a week before Christmas last year. Immediately after our first date our relationship literally budded overnight. Next thing I know, discussions of leaving my cozy 1-bedroom apartment in the burbs to dwell in his 3-bedroom vintage greystone in the city were already on the table.

There I was…presented with a situation I always longed for. For the timing to be right, and to be on the same damn page with someone I was extremely interested in, was beyond incredible. It almost seemed too good to be true. But that was the reality of our love story and as a result things moved fast…very fast.

I never had any reservations about living with someone prior to marriage. Intuitively, it seems like a prerequisite before deciding to get hitched. For my boyfriend to express his desire to live together so soon didn’t invoke fear in me at all. We both knew what we wanted from the start and in my eyes it was a definitive declaration of how serious his intentions were. Forget talking the talk, he was ready to walk the walk.

In the time leading up to the actual move, I stayed true to my feelings and didn’t let the apprehension of anyone outside of my relationship cast doubt. Quite naturally when I brought up the idea to my mother, I was bombarded with a ton of inquisitions that included “what’s the rush?” but ultimately I had to remind her that it was going to happen regardless of how she felt about it. It didn’t take long for her to see that what I had this time around was different and to offer her support.

With each day that we spent together it became increasingly clear that we were making the right decision. My apartment no longer felt like home and it became arduous having to constantly check on my cat and export essential items for nights I stayed with him. On top of that, moments of separation flat-out sucked and just weren't worth it. 

It definitely did make financial sense to embark upon cohabitation, but it was never the driving force within the decision-making process. Before officially moving in, I allowed the cat to get acclimated to the new space. By nature she’s super friendly and my boyfriend grew up with cats so the two hit it off instantaneously. Needless to say, that was a major relief. My landlord was extremely flexible so I was able to get out of my lease 3 months early and finally move all of my belongings at the end of April.

I simply adore my new home…from living in the city for the first time, to enjoying a spacious yard the size of a residential lot. But more importantly, I’m excited about who I get to share it with. The only downside to my new living arrangements is the fact my job is in the burbs so my commute more than doubled. However, in comparison to the new joys I experience on a daily basis; it’s a sacrifice I’d make again without question.

I didn’t know what to expect as I melded my life with someone else, but I can honestly say it’s been pretty seamless. We didn’t have to hurdle over the “what items stay and which ones go” obstacle because he moved from New York to Chicago in a state of minimalism and previously lived in two furnished apartments. Everything that I brought was needed so it was as if our lives fit together like clich├ęd puzzle pieces. Another aspect that lent itself towards an effortless union was the fact we both have similar habits so neither one of us had to make any drastic changes to maintain the harmony in the household.

Without a doubt I loved living alone as a single woman. The self-imposed seclusion. The freedom to do (or don’t do) what I wanted. It was simply fabulous and I think every woman should be able to experience that early in life. Was I afraid of letting go of that? No, because in essence, I really didn’t. My life is pretty much business as usual when it comes to the way I go about my day when in the confines of my home. Now, I’m just doing it with a man whose company I enjoy tremendously. Whether we’re cooking together, dancing and laughing, or sitting in silence, there’s a great feeling of authenticity and peace that permeates throughout.

Lontier & Munk
After five full months of officially living together, I’d sum up the experience thus far with one word: balance. I can honestly say I haven’t felt this stable in adulthood…ever. When you’re in a healthy relationship there’s a great sense of comfort you receive when you come home to your abode after combating the external stressors of the day and there’s a human there to offer a listening ear, some words of reassurance, and a calming touch.

In the process of living with my partner, I’ve learned to not blow-up about the little things and I continue to recognize and appreciate the importance of effective communication. I believe the biggest challenge going forward will be to solidify a household routine that embodies and nurtures our shared-beliefs over our roles in this partnership, our health (physical, emotional, spiritual), and finances. We’re both carefree creatives at heart, so mundane aspects of life tend to get shafted by the desire to enjoy the present moment.

As I type this while looking out at the boulevard on California Avenue through my bay windows watching the sun set, I’m grateful that I didn't adhere to standards dictated by society or cave in to fear that other people may have had. Yes, I moved in with a man that I only knew for four months, but you only get one shot at this thing called life and what a sweet life it is.

Oh, and let me not forget…live-in penis is the shit. That is all. J -- Lontier 

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