Dating is exhausting...

Online dating is exhausting... as fuck. I'm over here battling ghosting fuckboys, canceled dates and the insane number of messages from people I'm not interested in. On top of that, trying to keep the energy going in an online conversation with a stranger, or finding dope people who live far away... and y'all I seriously need a break. Oh, did I mention PMS? So multiply all that previous shit by like 4. I don't know if I'd call this a "come to Jesus" moment, but I've been feeling like I need a bit of a break.

I've been in my head and in my feelings a lot lately. I don't know if I even want to date anyone. I don't know if I'm made for dating... let alone casual dating in 2016! I've had 2 first dates with people who weren't going anywhere. Where did I want it to go? Maybe a 2nd date just to get to know them better... but yeah, that's not happening. I also had 2 other dates scheduled that didn't happen. 1 guy had a work emergency, so we tentatively rescheduled grabbing food/drinks this week (not holding my breath). The 2nd guy and I had loose plans for today (Read: Sunday), but ended up playing phone tag. He just text me back now asking if I wanted to come to a concert he was at (insert kanye blank stare). Like, huh? Nah... I wanted to actually make FIRM fucking plans, not "wing it" on a Sunday night and show up to meet you for the first time at some random ass concert. I like spontaneity, but I also like being a priority with real plans.

All of this disappoint, or not really disappointment, but mild annoyance from people I honestly don't know (nor should care about) PLUS my pms has left me feeling drained. I am trying to maintain an attitude of prioritizing self-care and listening to my gut -- thus, I disabled my profile for the next few days so I could just live my life free from the mental weight of "will this person call?" or "did another random message me?" Also, I have been regularly texting someone which is nice. No expectations... just someone who isn't showing signs of being a fuckboy.

Sometimes I don't think I'm built for casual dating. Or maybe I'm confusing online dating with casual dating. I spent the weekend with friends, doing fun shit and not being pressed about dates (for the most part). I was out living life and realized that maybe this is the better way to meet people. Not a knock to online dating, but there are SO many people and I've realized that it's easy to fade in and out of surface level conversations with multiple people. While I'm definitely a social butterfly, I absolutely HATE surface level conversations. Dude, fuck that shit.

Anyways, be warned: ONLINE DATING IS EXHAUSTING! It's like blasting your resume out and having multiple phone screens or first interviews. After a while you'll need a break.

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