My 3-day Long First Date ("LDR" Guy)


I'm all about casting a wide net, but that net doesn't typically get cast farther than a $10 Uber range. Period. I like to live within my geographical truth and that includes knowing that I'm not here for that commuter lifestyle, be it for romance or my day-to-day stuff. I live within a mile of everything I need and honestly, that should include a dude too. So, how did I end up on a 3-day first date with someone who lives 3+ hours away? I'm still asking myself the same thing.

This dude had a few "working" nicknames, but I was reserving giving him something official until we met for the first time in person. The most important part of this story is that he lives far as fuck away. Like, 200+ miles, over 3 hours away... he doesn't live near me AT ALL.

We'd been talking on the phone for a few weeks, like actually talking on the phone like when someone dials your number and the phone rings... not merely texting back and forth. It was like being back in Jr. High. What's funny is that during a conversation he actually asked me about my strong feelings on not driving places, and my answer: "I could give you a million reasons why, but the only reason that matters is that I don't want to... (insert smile)" <----- essentially, I'm not driving for anyone, including you new guy.

He said he came into town to see an office his company had recently acquired, but I know the real reason was to finally meet me in person lol. He stayed at a hotel in the city (the only person kicking it at my crib right now is my dog, thank you...), but we ended up hanging out for 3 days. In a row. Back to back... 3 motherfucking days for a "first date" with a relatively new person. You can say I dove in head first. We'd been speaking on the phone for a few weeks, so it felt like we got fairly acquainted with one another, but it's completely different to be on the phone with a person vs. meeting them in real life.

Day 1:
We decided to keep things casual on day 1 with drinks and see how it went. I think we were both a tad bit nervous and not sure of what to expect. We also wanted to minimize the amount of pressure on "hitting it off'" so we said we'd start with something chill and then reassess. I was out with dude from like 7p to 3a. It was a fun, long night.

Day 2:
I'm not really sure of where to draw lines between friends and casually dating, but since he was in town and I had already made previous plans with my girlfriends for this night, I decided to have him tag along. We ended up going to a friend's house (only a little awkward) and then a friend's going away lol. In hindsight, this is the type of shit you take your boyfriend to, not some dude you're just hanging out with from online. Either way, he was able to hang with some folks and it wasn't too awkward. I also liked having my friends as a buffer to spread out the attention. They were clutch. Towards the end of the night I started to hit my wall and was a bit exhausted from the back-to-back late nights and just being "on" and around someone new. There was a moment when he wanted to "talk" a bit longer and I was like, dude... it's fucking 2am lol... (in my mind), but I obliged and kept it chill. Thinking about it, this was me being nice and on my "best behavior" coupled with a tad bit of guilt that he drove so far. I wasn't going to be a dick.

Day 3:
Okay, so this is when I hit my wall. I'm a true extrovert -- people energized -- but I was definitely "over it" and ready to have some alone time. I mustered up the energy to go grab brunch, but I knew this was someone I wasn't feeling a romantic connection with, but could see myself staying in touch and being friends. I think I also started to realize that I definitely jump off the deep end and throw myself all the way into things. Go big or go home, right? lol...

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