My Ex is Dating a Blogger


This is the picture that made my eyes roll so far into the back of my head that it nearly exploded. The new girl my ex is dating is a blogger and posted a picture on the back of his Harley... a view I had for 4 years... posting the same fucking picture I posted for 4 years. Creating hashtags and shit. You want someone to move on, but then you see they're moving on and it kinda sucks.

I had been trying to heal and hold onto him as a friend, but instantly realized I couldn't do it. I don't know if I wanted his friendship because it had become my sense of normality after so long... if he was really that important in my life... or I was just being a baby about cutting the cord, but this was the final push I needed to cut all ties with him. I care about him and love him, but realized I can't be his friend. I can't focus on healing while trying to nurture a friendship with someone I share so much history with. There are too many feelings there and I'm not in a place where I can manage those emotions without potentially losing myself to them.

That's hard to admit. It's hard to admit that someone still has a spot in your heart and can trigger you... for good or bad. I lost my best friend and boyfriend in one blow... and to be honest I'm completely exhausted from making someone a better person for having had me in their life. I left our relationship with more scars than I entered it with, but I know I'll only be stronger and better for having had this experience. The road to healing is a process. Considering this another hurdle.

2 comments:

ANGELINA said...

It's so hard to see someone that was once such a big part of your life move on to be with someone else. I'm a strong believer that the easiest way to get over someone is to cut them off and focus on your happiness. If you are meant to have a friendship, or if they are meant to be in your life, it will happen again once you have healed from the relationship. Take pride in the fact that you are strong enough to put yourself first <3

Alisha said...

This was a great and honest post. It's okay to still have feelings. They come and go, but eventually they leave.

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